Final Post

Eight years ago this month, I began this journey.

With this photo.

Today, I am saying a fond farewell to all of you

dear wonderful friends.

My heart isn't in this any longer.

Last month, my son committed suicide.

Now, it's time for me to ... 

well, I'm not sure what I need to be doing next.

For the time being I'm floundering between

trying to settle things for Brian

functioning as well as I can

and trying to take care of me.

Please take care of yourselves!

With love, ~Gal

SomeBody Needs Rest

Working hard makes a body tired

but so does stress!

My son is living with me, and that's not easy.

He's a grown man of 34, but he's also a "kid"

in every sense of the word when it comes to

"adulting".   For the first month, I didn't charge

him rent because his accounts were hacked

and he needed a little breathing room to get

caught up again.  But he's got creditors knocking

on doors, and needs to step up his game with a

plan for his future -- namely, making sure he gets

his credit score up so he can (at some point!)

rent his own apt again!  I let time slide, to see

if he would get things taken care of .....  lol

Today, we sat down and made a payment schedule

through his bank so that bills are paid first, THEN

he has his spending money. 

Yep, I'm all about the *tough love* , always have been.

No-Sun Day

Sunday afternoon and it's a bit

dreary and overcast.

Perfectly matches how I've been

feeling these past couple of weeks.




Life has taken some eventful turns.

My son called me out of the blue

and said he needs to move back home.

And it had to be the upcoming weekend.

Of course, being just prior to inventory,

I was scheduled to work.  So I hired

GoShare -- think Uber with trucks.

After being alone so long, it isn't easy

living with your adult children.

Add to it the fact that my job is changing

in a big way - because of corporate changes.

Every day is stress-filled, only to come home

and have stressed filled evenings as well.

I should be out walking; instead I'm enjoying

having the house to myself for a bit!

Cheat Day

A brief respite from the daily chores

and a very long work week.

With inventory looming large,

loads of drama with one gal on my team,

and one more of my team on vacation,

we're feeling short handed and overwhelmed.

Today is a day for rest, a little Netflix binge,

and a cheat day that includes pizza!

Hello, Spring!

Sometimes

the morning light

is just too perfect

for my creative side

to ignore







It's been a while since my last post

because I'm attempting to do "adulting";

to take care of pesky things

that need to be done.

This year I'll turn 60

and the future needs to be addressed.

Or arranged for:   Adulting done!

7am, the sun rises and that first light

is magically golden.

Happy Spring, my friend!

See Ya, January!

Happy to see January come to an end!

It's been a chilly January here in the 

Valley of the Sun -- but nothing like the rest

of the US has it! 

I've been working hard at being good

to myself

with healthy food choices and 

some added exercise each day.

My phone app rates my "nutrient score"

when I log foods, my goal each day

is 85 out of 100.  I achieved that twice

this week!  Today was only 74, but 

I had to fast through breakfast 

for a blood work update.  

Exercise goals include more flexible muscles

but as this photo shows, I can no longer get

my chest to the floor!  lol 

Isn't getting older just awesome??

Mondays!?!

How many Mondays

have come and gone

since you said

"I'll start next week!"  ??

Take action -- start today!!











Time to start on some kind of plan.

I don't like to think of it as

"diet and exercise" because it implies

things that aren't true!

For me, it's enough to concentrate

on being the healthiest version of me

that I can be. 

I made this resolve the day after

I had pizza and a beer for dinner. lol

It's a balmy 68 degrees, just perfect

for being outdoors!

Shades of Orange

The sky takes on shades of orange 

during sunrise and sunset, 

the color that gives you hope 

that the sun will set only to rise again.

-Ram Charan

After a frenetic week

full of work, making appointments,

and trying to get things caught up

this band of orange light from sunset

came streaming in my window.

I dropped everything to create a photo - 

because light is everything in a photograph.

When I was 10, I got to choose the colors

for my bedroom, including my carpet.

I chose shades of orange for the room.

I often wonder if it was part of who 

I was to become that made me 

enjoy those sunset oranges?

Lovin' Hats

A chilly weekend

with rain and clouds

and very little sun

makes it a good weekend

to get over a cold -

but lousy for photo ops!

A crazy mad hatter hat

for this crazy hat lovin' gal!

The Mad Hatter

I knew who I was this morning, 

but I've changed a few times since then.

~From Alice in Wonderland

Here I am sporting a crazy hat

I found for a dollar.

There's just something about a hat .....

Otherwise, ignore how peaked I look

as I've come down with a cold and

have spent nearly the entire weekend

in bed.

and not in *that* way.  lol

Hello 2019!

Do not try to be the best

Just do your best.

~Sadhguru

A new year,

a new beginning.

I'm not a resolutions maker

but more of the kind who evaluates 

what was, to see how to be better.

I allowed my focus this past year

to be on things that didn't enrich

the creative side of me.

It is my hope, and my goal,

to be better with my creative side.

What are your wishes for the New Year, my friend?

From Old to New

An optimist 

stays up til midnight

to see the new year in.

A pessimist

stays up til midnight

to make sure the old year leaves.

- Bill Vaughn

... and a retail worker

goes to bed on time

because retail never stops!!

hahaha


Thoughts on a new year;

and on the year that has passed.

It's been a rough ride this year. 

My cousin died; a good friend

committed suicide.

I'm still alone.

and even though that's my choice,

there are some days that it's

not always .... enjoyable.

Every "diet" that I started

ended before I made any progress.

With each new year, we're supposed

to learn from our mistakes and

make the new year even better.

So that's my goal. 

To eat healthier, to be healthier

to get regular exercise

and to take more photos.

Happy New Year, my friend!

Old Ends

"So I close my eyes

to old ends

and open my heart

to new beginnings"

-Nick Frederickson

Here we are, the end of 2018.

Was it everything you hoped for

when we started this year?

The last two weeks of December

are always the hardest for me.

As we grow older, 

our gains and our losses increase.

Sometimes, we focus on the gains

so we don't have to dwell on the losses.

But it's in this time that I tend to think

of all the losses.  

I'm ready for January and a new year,

a time of new beginnings,

and I'm hoping for 

a few new gains along the way.

Here's to a new year, a new chapter.

Exquisite Pain

In Anna and the King:  If love was a choice, who would ever choose such exquisite pain?

In Sex and the City    :  The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable... 

I'm in an upstairs apartment with two bedrooms.  I've been exchanging email and text back and forth with a man, and we were finally going to meet up.  

Kept busy, and away from the apartment, I finally returned home, climbed the stairs and went into my bedroom.  I had no idea that there was someone in the apartment.  As it turns out, it wasn't just him, but he brought his son with him.  It was a joyous meeting, but very short lived.  

You told me that you wouldn't be staying, and we couldn't talk any longer.  We layed on the bed for a few short moments, side by side; I could feel tears running down my cheeks.  I turned and tucked myself into the nook of your arm, my head resting on your shoulder.  You kissed the top of my head, held me close for a few moments, then got up to leave.  You left a thick magazine, along with three greeting cards on the top of my dresser.  I could see the return address as the town of Edgewater on the magazine.  You said goodbye, and I listened to your footsteps as they faded away down the steps.  

I followed, walking down the center of the street, away from my parents' house.  "Good-bye" I whispered to myself.  I turned, tears still staining my cheeks.  I could see my Dad watching over me from the front window.

I stopped and sat on the curb on the corner of the street, under the light post.  I opened your first card, and began crying all over again.  Sad.  Happy.  Despair.  These all washed over me; I was happy we finally met, and felt sad despair that we couldn't be together.

If love was a choice, 

who would ever choose 

such exquisite pain?

~~~~~

I am a vivid dreamer. 

Usually in color, but this one was in black and white.

Who was this mystery man? 

Someone I'm not destined to meet, 

seems the obvious take.

My Dad watching over me, 

I'm quite certain he does.

He died 4 years ago just before Christmas.

The house he was watching me from

has been our family home since 1966.

It took me hours to go back to sleep

after this dream.

It was an emotional roller coaster

and the pain was intense, and so real.

The phrase that stuck in my head

was "exquisite pain".

Goodbye, my love, whoever you are. 

Time to Refocus

I have been doing this blog

for over 7 years now

this from one of my first posts.

and while there are a select few folk

I could count on one hand

who do more than just

ogle photos ....

There's too much time and effort

that goes into making a good photo

and even more heart and soul

that gets put to page.

The number of "hits" from people

looking at my blog barely justifies

the time and energy I put into this.

I started this because I wanted to be able

to share a bit of me;

what I've come to realize is that I also hoped

that it would create some dialog ... and it hasn't.

Maybe it's time to refocus.

Silly, Tired, Gal

Busy days makes for one tired Gal!

being tired means doing things

on "auto pilot" rather than thinking

things through.  Tonight was one of those.

Using my garage door opener, I opened

the garage door to pull in the recycle bin

then pushed the button for the door to close

and stepped inside.  But why? I thought

is the garage door still running??

I stepped into the garage and here the door is

wide open.  So I pressed the button and

watched the door come 3/4 down, stop and

then run itself back up again.  Mind you,

normally I would be checking things out

but my mind is tired with a capital T!

So I pressed the button twice more,

and yes, watched the door go down,

then back up without closing.

Turns out, the small piece of rope

that I use if the power goes out

was getting in the way of the signal

causing the door to reopen to prevent

something being caught under the door.

Silly me!!  and thank goodness it wasn't broken!

Red and Black

It was a Red and Black day

and I spent some time

decorating my tree.

A $2 bucket of shatterproof

ornaments goes a long way!












(Sometimes, it's very weird

having Christmas in the desert

with warm sunny days.)

Cactus Tree

Growing up, I spent my youth

with cold, and imagining snow

for the Holidays.

Living in Ohio,

those were very true!

Now in Arizona,

we decorate our cactus

and enjoy warm sunny days!

Here's our desert version of

          Jingle Bells:

Driving through the sand
With his jeep well in command
Over the rocks and brush
Santa's in a rush.

Most towns have white snow
But Phoenix has hot sand
But that won't stop ole Santa Claus
Four wheeling is his plan

Jingle bells, lizard tails
Hot and sunny day
Santa's here in desert town,
But he cannot stay.

Jingle Bells, lizard tails
Hot and sunny day
Santa's jeep is packed with toys
So everything's okay

A Little Tree

“Like snowflakes, 

my Christmas memories 

gather and dance—

each beautiful, 

unique, 

and gone too soon.”

Christmas is for kids, they say.

And being a mom, I have found

there's more joy in Christmas

when children are around.

Otherwise, it's just adults

sitting around, sharing a drink,

and buying each other something

that we've probably already 

bought for ourselves.

Working retail means I've been looking 

at Christmas trappings since September.

Most years, I don't even bother

with a tree.  This year, I bothered.

I'm not sure why.  

Other than the old saying, 

"If you want something to change, 

you have to change something."

Maybe this year is it ?!?

Edited Update

Old photo with a little editing
as I'm in no mood to get naked.
This was "hell week" at work
and I had some very hellish shifts

My step tracker showed 23k steps
on Thursday alone .... I thought
the day would never end!
Nothing like Retail + Black Friday
to make work so much fun.

To add to it all, my cousin who was
61 years old went in for open heart
surgery to repair a valve.  As he was
being prepped, his heart stopped.
They fought to bring him back, and
he was on life support for 7 days
and then died. 

This past week seemed unending.
Friday after work, I came home, ate
and crawled into bed at 5:30 pm.
I didn't wake up until 7am Saturday!

Welcome to this year's Holiday Season!
Is it January yet?  heh heh heh