SomeBody Needs Rest

Working hard makes a body tired

but so does stress!

My son is living with me, and that's not easy.

He's a grown man of 34, but he's also a "kid"

in every sense of the word when it comes to

"adulting".   For the first month, I didn't charge

him rent because his accounts were hacked

and he needed a little breathing room to get

caught up again.  But he's got creditors knocking

on doors, and needs to step up his game with a

plan for his future -- namely, making sure he gets

his credit score up so he can (at some point!)

rent his own apt again!  I let time slide, to see

if he would get things taken care of .....  lol

Today, we sat down and made a payment schedule

through his bank so that bills are paid first, THEN

he has his spending money. 

Yep, I'm all about the *tough love* , always have been.

No-Sun Day

Sunday afternoon and it's a bit

dreary and overcast.

Perfectly matches how I've been

feeling these past couple of weeks.




Life has taken some eventful turns.

My son called me out of the blue

and said he needs to move back home.

And it had to be the upcoming weekend.

Of course, being just prior to inventory,

I was scheduled to work.  So I hired

GoShare -- think Uber with trucks.

After being alone so long, it isn't easy

living with your adult children.

Add to it the fact that my job is changing

in a big way - because of corporate changes.

Every day is stress-filled, only to come home

and have stressed filled evenings as well.

I should be out walking; instead I'm enjoying

having the house to myself for a bit!

From Old to New

An optimist 

stays up til midnight

to see the new year in.

A pessimist

stays up til midnight

to make sure the old year leaves.

- Bill Vaughn

... and a retail worker

goes to bed on time

because retail never stops!!

hahaha


Thoughts on a new year;

and on the year that has passed.

It's been a rough ride this year. 

My cousin died; a good friend

committed suicide.

I'm still alone.

and even though that's my choice,

there are some days that it's

not always .... enjoyable.

Every "diet" that I started

ended before I made any progress.

With each new year, we're supposed

to learn from our mistakes and

make the new year even better.

So that's my goal. 

To eat healthier, to be healthier

to get regular exercise

and to take more photos.

Happy New Year, my friend!

Old Ends

"So I close my eyes

to old ends

and open my heart

to new beginnings"

-Nick Frederickson

Here we are, the end of 2018.

Was it everything you hoped for

when we started this year?

The last two weeks of December

are always the hardest for me.

As we grow older, 

our gains and our losses increase.

Sometimes, we focus on the gains

so we don't have to dwell on the losses.

But it's in this time that I tend to think

of all the losses.  

I'm ready for January and a new year,

a time of new beginnings,

and I'm hoping for 

a few new gains along the way.

Here's to a new year, a new chapter.

Being Happy

The greatest challenge in life

is discovering who you are.

The second greatest is

being happy with what you find.

Kermit the Frog always sings

"It ain't easy being green ..." (listen here)

He finds a way to find the good

within the bad.

I like to think that I do that too.

It's not always easy being happy with

who we're meant to be.

But every day, I'm trying.

Remembering Alex

A moment of sadness

here in my corner of the world.

A friend from work died - suicide.

It brings up so many thoughts:

"Did I miss something?"

"Could I have helped if I'd known?"

Now there are no answers.

Sometimes things lurk inside

when no one else has a clue.

Unanswered questions

are often the hardest

to live with.

Whatever your troubles, Alex,

I wish you had reached out.





"In the U.S., suicide rates are highest during the spring. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for 15 to 24-year-olds and 2nd for 24 to 35-year-olds. On average, 1 person commits suicide every 16.2 minutes. Each suicide intimately affects at least 6 other people." 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday

I Get Off

You don't know that I know,


You watch me every night


And I just can't resist the urge


To stand here in the light









Your greedy eyes upon me


And then I come undone


And I could close the curtains


But this too much fun......









Confession:  I heard this song by Halestorm

and thought "how can I put that in a picture?"

Grab the camera, set it up

then wait for dark.

With no idea how this would work

I took a couple quick shots and

called it a night.

While this could have been an

elaborate setup with different clothing

this was me.... and my natural habitat!

... and one more.

There's something about light coming through a window

that makes me grab my camera and shoot.

Just a little more of me and my weird!

Me. Weird.

"Weird is my nature,

my way of being,

don't mess it up."

--Gaby Hinojosa

Just feeling a little .... off my game today.

An odd Monday - no work, and it's too hot to play.

I had my flu shot on Thursday, maybe I've been 

feeling a little bit of that over the past few days.

Definitely weird.

Do you ever feel that way too?

I never know what to do with it.

So it hides, gets pushed behind "the norm"

until it goes away.

Stillness

We all have

within us

a center of stillness

surrounded by silence.

~ Dag Hammarskjold












Why is it that when these should be "the golden years",

that life should be slowing down to a manageable pace,

I feel busier than ever?

I know that back when I was raising kids, I was running

from one thing to another, just so things were ready for

the next hectic day.

And it still feels that way, to an extent.

Perhaps because I feel time pressing against me,

and the need to get all that I want said and done

out there.

Immersed in a family project, I find myself writing about

memories on a daily basis.  Which is a good thing.  But it

all takes time.  Frankly, I thought it might spark some

lively bits of conversation among the kids - my own,

my nephews, etc.  It hasn't.  I don't think they've reached

the age where they have finally realized that who they are

has a lot to do with where they started, where they came from.

Maybe some day.

I was dashing around the house, and the light coming through

my back window was lovely .... so I snapped this quickie for you!

Shine

“Do what makes your soul shine.”

Hello, Friend!  I've been away from this

for a little while as I've immersed myself

in some genealogy research projects.  

Yes, plural!  

I created a place to post photos of when me 

and my siblings grew up, where I can put comments

and descriptions about what was going on, who was 

in the photo (and sometimes why!)  and just general

comments about the house we grew up in.  Because

my mom is STILL in that house they bought in 1966.

Many things have changed, and it's fun to watch the 

changes through the photos that my dad took.

I'm also researching old family history and putting names

and dates to the old photos I got from my grandmother's

things back in 1995.  She had a lot of old photos, some

of folks I didn't know.  But with a good family tree I can 

usually narrow it down to one or two people ....  :)

It's a great project for an overheated summer when I can't

get outdoors with Sadie.  Hurry up, Fall!  I'm ready!!

Hot & Stressed

Here in the Valley of the Sun

the summer sun can be intense

brilliant in its brightness

seductive when it sets

casting its hues of

pinks, reds and yellows



So, a little bit of backyard

with a little bit of Gal!






For those of us

stuck indoors

it's kinda like

having cabin fever!

Today, a taste of our first

monsoon - at 117 degrees,

add in a very hot wind

and some clouds that

barely sprinkle.

Add in a very stressful

work week, and yep,

you got it....

a gal who doesn't know what

to do with herself!

Beautiful Things

I just want to make

beautiful things

even if nobody cares.

I'm not sure who said that,

I saw it on a poster.  lol

But it's sort of what drives me.

I'm that way with my photos

and I'm that way with writing, too.


This summer, I'm combining those two

forms of creativity in my home life by

finding 3-4 photos that relate, then telling

the story, the memories, the moment.

Even if no one reads them, it's important

to me that they get written down.

I'm a huge genealogy freak, and have data,

dates, photos and assumptions about my ancestors,

and very little of the stories.

I want to leave a better legacy!

Windows

The window is the

absence of the wall,

and it gives air and light

because it is empty.

Be empty of all

mental content,

of all imagination

and effort,

and the very absence

of obstacles

will cause reality to rush in.

-Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj


Never heard this quote before,

it drew me in.

I never considered a window

being an absent wall,

or thought about what

a window gives:  air and light.

May all your rooms have a window - or two!

Az Summers

Arizona:

Where Summer spends the Winter,

and Hell spends the summer!

Where hot water comes out of both taps!

Where you can get a sunburn 

through your car window!

Where the best parking space is determined 

by shade, not by distance!

When the temp drops below 95F, 

you feel chilly!

Where your seat belt makes 

a pretty good branding iron!

We joke about our hot summer temps,

and yes, they can be quite hot!

It's been over 112F for 11 days straight,

with no relief in sight.  It's a little early

for this much intense heat, but perhaps

that's an indicator of the amount of rain

we can expect in our monsoons?

So here I sit, looking out instead of being out

in the backyard.  I will have to make time to

water my plants.  Perhaps tomorrow.

Happy Wednesday!

Yesterdays and Tomorrows

You don't get rid of yesterday by talking about it all the time;

you get rid of its effect on you by moving forward.

I saw this quote and thought about it a long while.

and I think in my own life it took me a lot of time

to figure this out.  Mind you, I know other women

who never figure this out, and they're stuck.

I prefer to just keep moving forward. 

However, I have my own issues with this as well.

Because along with a "keep moving forward" mantra

I'm also stuck with "work before pleasure" 

and as many of you know, sometimes our job it never done.

In my own case, what I do in my BigBox store never ends.

It's a constant stream of 'job security'  so I've had to learn how

to break it down into pieces to allow me to feel as if my day

was accomplished and as complete as I could make it. 

Not an easy task for someone who tends to be a workaholic!

Fleetwood Mac's song comes to mind, seems to say this very thing:

Why not think about times to come,

And not about the things that you've done,

If your life was bad to you,

Just think what tomorrow will do.

Don't stop thinking about tomorrow,

Don't stop, it'll soon be here,

It'll be better than before,

Yesterday's gone, yesterday's gone.

(Sorry, is that tune stuck in your head now too??  *giggles* )

Hello Again!

"I have not ceased being fearful, but I have ceased to let fear control me.

I have accepted fear as a part of life, specifically the fear of change and

the fear of the unknown, and I have gone ahead,

despite the pounding in my heart that says:  'turn back'."

-Erica Jong

Hello my friend!

I have been gone for a bit, 

life has been extremely hectic.

Making time for frivolous things

hasn't been on the agenda for a while.

To sum it all up, work has been unbearably

busy, I've averaged aprox 50 hours a week 

for the past three weeks.  Mom and Sis 

dropped in and stayed with me for three days

while visiting my aunt, who has cancer.  

She said "I'm not doing chemo, I'm 81 and lived

a long wonderful life ....  God's in control now."

She's been a force in my life!    Sis is still doing

her chemo rounds, and things are 'progressing nicely'

so her doctor says.   Mom has bucked up under the

pressure of this entire situation.  Me, I'm happy to be

on the other side of being overly busy and overly tired.

Tomorrow will be the first opportunity I will have to 

sleep in past 5am and I am looking forward to it!

So .... what have you been up to lately ??

Star Gazing

I saw these pretty little lights

(on clearance for 75cents!)

and pulled them out today

as I was thinking

we all need to be reminded

to put life on pause

go outside in the dark and

look up

the stars are heavenly!

Dark Night, Bright Day

For every dark night,

there's a brighter day! 

-Tupac

I'm trying to keep this as my motto,

with health and with work,

as both things can swing a person's mood

from one extreme to another.

Some days, it is a struggle.

Other days, it seems to come easier.

Just BE!

When I checked in on the blog, I realized

I hadn't posted in quite some time.  Things

have been crazy here.   Lots of emotions 

going on deep inside.  My sister was just

diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer.

Have I mentioned that already?

Shocking, as she's only 53.  And as it is

when something hits close to home, you 

begin to feel every ache and pain and wonder

"Do I have .... something too?"

Of course, I headed off to the doc to make sure

and am in the midst of all the check-up things

that are done:  blood tests, mammogram, and

then a complete physical after all the "evidence"

is in.  I like my new doc, so it should be OK.

Work is crazy busy as it always is after the 

holiday season.  I'm ready for a break from it all.

I need a little time at home to just do, just be!