Strongest Weakness

He was my strongest weakness

I surrendered heart and soul

Its gonna be a long, long time

'Til I regain control

I'm still a prisoner

Held captive by his memory

He was my strongest weakness

And I'm afraid he'll always be

October always seems to bring up

those long ... lost ... feelings .....

This quote is a chorus from a song

I heard on the radio and it reminded me

of those who have passed through my life.

As with every life situation, there is always

the good and the bad, happy times, sad times,

and those moments of disagreement where

you think you'll never find even ground.

But if you're like me, you have one

who's the strongest weakness,

the one who crosses your mind

in the darkest hours of night. 

And even though it's been years,

you find yourself wishing ... again.

Rise Above

Don't get mad.  Don't get even.

Do better.  Much better.

Rise above.

Become so engulfed

in your own success

that you forget

it ever happened.

I don't know who said that, but it's been my mantra.

I work with a person who is very ... toxic. 

And as is the case when these types realize they

can't control you, they change tactics and try to 

undermine you, your actions.

I am a supervisor;  I was asked by management

to travel to another facility to do some training.

When the time arrived, I checked in with management,

and went on my way.  When I returned, my manager 

told me how this person approached her and stated that

I left the building without saying where I was going.

She said, "Yes.  But she reports to management, not to you."

He sputtered about it, and she walked away. 

When I returned, he said "You should have told me you

were leaving, it's the courteous thing to do."

I stood tall, bit my tongue, and just nodded silently.

On Monday of this same week, as I was going about my

job, he walked up and started spouting off about how

the AZ Cardinals beat the SF 49ers in football.  I just

shrugged (I'm not watching NFL games this year). 

Another co-worker said "Good morning, Lynne" and I

answered "Good morning" back to her.

And again he spouts off, talking to her as if I'm not

standing there at all and says "YOU got a good morning,

I don't even get a hello, this must be ignore Elvis week."

Again.  Stand tall.  Bite my tongue.  Nod and walk off.

After 5 years of this type of behavior,

it's the only thing I can do to save my own sanity.


** Thank you, my friend, for sharing this toxic person message with me!

Mi Vida Loca

I'm exhausted

from trying to be

stronger than I feel.

That pretty much sums up

how I've felt all weekend.

Friday night I got the dreaded call.

They totaled my car

which means I now have to buy something.

And quick.

And get rid of this rental car.    UGH

Making decisions when it's my choice to make

them isn't as hard as having to make decisions

because you're forced to do so.

I wandered a dealership on Saturday, but it was

too soon to know the financial end of things.

And it was too hot to be crawling in and out of

cars that have been closed up in the midday sun.

All the stress has made me unbelievable tired.

If I sit down to for a moment, I fall asleep.

I even dozed off on Friday night watching TV

with a slice of pizza in my hand.

That's my crazy life!    Mi Vida Loca

Doors

“For the 

cowards, 

all doors 

are locked; 

for the daring, 

all doors 

are open!” 

― Mehmet Murat ildan

Twilight

“The sky grew darker, 

painted blue on blue, 

one stroke at a time, 

into deeper and deeper 

shades of night.” 

― Haruki Murakami

Ready for bed
watching the twilight
the evening blues
here in the desert
one of my fav
moments in a day

it has been hectic here
this past week or so
with family visiting
arrangements being made
then re-made with changes
entertaining my nephew
brought me awareness --
hanging out was pure pleasure :)

He even convinced me to ride
this Giant Wheel --
after we had cotton candy !