31 December 2018

From Old to New

An optimist 

stays up til midnight

to see the new year in.

A pessimist

stays up til midnight

to make sure the old year leaves.

- Bill Vaughn

... and a retail worker

goes to bed on time

because retail never stops!!


Thoughts on a new year;

and on the year that has passed.

It's been a rough ride this year. 

My cousin died; a good friend

committed suicide.

I'm still alone.

and even though that's my choice,

there are some days that it's

not always .... enjoyable.

Every "diet" that I started

ended before I made any progress.

With each new year, we're supposed

to learn from our mistakes and

make the new year even better.

So that's my goal. 

To eat healthier, to be healthier

to get regular exercise

and to take more photos.

Happy New Year, my friend!

30 December 2018

Old Ends

"So I close my eyes

to old ends

and open my heart

to new beginnings"

-Nick Frederickson

Here we are, the end of 2018.

Was it everything you hoped for

when we started this year?

The last two weeks of December

are always the hardest for me.

As we grow older, 

our gains and our losses increase.

Sometimes, we focus on the gains

so we don't have to dwell on the losses.

But it's in this time that I tend to think

of all the losses.  

I'm ready for January and a new year,

a time of new beginnings,

and I'm hoping for 

a few new gains along the way.

Here's to a new year, a new chapter.

28 December 2018

Exquisite Pain

In Anna and the King:  If love was a choice, who would ever choose such exquisite pain?

In Sex and the City    :  The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable... 

I'm in an upstairs apartment with two bedrooms.  I've been exchanging email and text back and forth with a man, and we were finally going to meet up.  

Kept busy, and away from the apartment, I finally returned home, climbed the stairs and went into my bedroom.  I had no idea that there was someone in the apartment.  As it turns out, it wasn't just him, but he brought his son with him.  It was a joyous meeting, but very short lived.  

You told me that you wouldn't be staying, and we couldn't talk any longer.  We layed on the bed for a few short moments, side by side; I could feel tears running down my cheeks.  I turned and tucked myself into the nook of your arm, my head resting on your shoulder.  You kissed the top of my head, held me close for a few moments, then got up to leave.  You left a thick magazine, along with three greeting cards on the top of my dresser.  I could see the return address as the town of Edgewater on the magazine.  You said goodbye, and I listened to your footsteps as they faded away down the steps.  

I followed, walking down the center of the street, away from my parents' house.  "Good-bye" I whispered to myself.  I turned, tears still staining my cheeks.  I could see my Dad watching over me from the front window.

I stopped and sat on the curb on the corner of the street, under the light post.  I opened your first card, and began crying all over again.  Sad.  Happy.  Despair.  These all washed over me; I was happy we finally met, and felt sad despair that we couldn't be together.

If love was a choice, 
who would ever choose 
such exquisite pain?


I am a vivid dreamer. 
Usually in color, but this one was in black and white.

Who was this mystery man? 
Someone I'm not destined to meet, 
seems the obvious take.
My Dad watching over me, 
I'm quite certain he does.
He died 4 years ago just before Christmas.
The house he was watching me from
has been our family home since 1966.

It took me hours to go back to sleep
after this dream.
It was an emotional roller coaster
and the pain was intense, and so real.
The phrase that stuck in my head
was "exquisite pain".

Goodbye, my love, whoever you are. 

15 December 2018

Time to Refocus

I have been doing this blog

for over 7 years now

this from one of my first posts.

and while there are a select few folk

I could count on one hand

who do more than just

ogle photos ....

There's too much time and effort

that goes into making a good photo

and even more heart and soul

that gets put to page.

The number of "hits" from people

looking at my blog barely justifies

the time and energy I put into this.

I started this because I wanted to be able

to share a bit of me;

what I've come to realize is that I also hoped

that it would create some dialog ... and it hasn't.

Maybe it's time to refocus.

11 December 2018

Silly, Tired, Gal

Busy days makes for one tired Gal!

being tired means doing things

on "auto pilot" rather than thinking

things through.  Tonight was one of those.

Using my garage door opener, I opened

the garage door to pull in the recycle bin

then pushed the button for the door to close

and stepped inside.  But why? I thought

is the garage door still running??

I stepped into the garage and here the door is

wide open.  So I pressed the button and

watched the door come 3/4 down, stop and

then run itself back up again.  Mind you,

normally I would be checking things out

but my mind is tired with a capital T!

So I pressed the button twice more,

and yes, watched the door go down,

then back up without closing.

Turns out, the small piece of rope

that I use if the power goes out

was getting in the way of the signal

causing the door to reopen to prevent

something being caught under the door.

Silly me!!  and thank goodness it wasn't broken!

09 December 2018

Red and Black

It was a Red and Black day

and I spent some time

decorating my tree.

A $2 bucket of shatterproof

ornaments goes a long way!

(Sometimes, it's very weird

having Christmas in the desert

with warm sunny days.)

08 December 2018

Cactus Tree

Growing up, I spent my youth

with cold, and imagining snow

for the Holidays.

Living in Ohio,

those were very true!

Now in Arizona,

we decorate our cactus

and enjoy warm sunny days!

Here's our desert version of

          Jingle Bells:

Driving through the sand
With his jeep well in command
Over the rocks and brush
Santa's in a rush.

Most towns have white snow
But Phoenix has hot sand
But that won't stop ole Santa Claus
Four wheeling is his plan

Jingle bells, lizard tails
Hot and sunny day
Santa's here in desert town,
But he cannot stay.

Jingle Bells, lizard tails
Hot and sunny day
Santa's jeep is packed with toys
So everything's okay

02 December 2018

A Little Tree

“Like snowflakes, 

my Christmas memories 

gather and dance—

each beautiful, 


and gone too soon.”

Christmas is for kids, they say.

And being a mom, I have found

there's more joy in Christmas

when children are around.

Otherwise, it's just adults

sitting around, sharing a drink,

and buying each other something

that we've probably already 

bought for ourselves.

Working retail means I've been looking 

at Christmas trappings since September.

Most years, I don't even bother

with a tree.  This year, I bothered.

I'm not sure why.  

Other than the old saying, 

"If you want something to change, 

you have to change something."

Maybe this year is it ?!?