31 October 2018

Samhain Blessings

On this Samhain:

The black candle represents your life, decisions and experiences in the past year.  Think about how your experiences have helped you to become the person you are today, what lessons you could have learned (if any), and what ways you have grown.

Burn, burn, sorrow turn, 
melt away, do not stay. 
Go in peace, trouble cease.

When you are done, blow out the black candle’s flame with gratitude, bidding farewell to what was.

The white candle represents the present moment and year to come. Reflect on ways you can experience more joy and wholeness each day.

Flow far, flow free, 
flow in peace and harmony.

When you’re ready, blow out the flame with hope.

My secret wish for this year's ritual

was to be bidding farewell to the 

year I've had, the troubles I've had,

with Elvis.  

Since that is not to be, I am leaving

it in the past, and looking forward to

a new year, a new beginning,

and perhaps a new direction.

Bright blessings, my friend! 

26 October 2018

Find Your Joy

Find joy in everything you choose to do.

Every job, relationship, home .....

It is your responsibility to love it, or change it.

~Chuck Palahniuk

I struggle with this more often than I should.

There are many things I do out of

a sense of responsibility rather than joy.

Like my recent "vacation".

I drove myself, my son and Sadie to NorCal

for a nephew's wedding.  I knew that it would

be a weekend full of events surrounding the wedding.

I also knew there wouldn't be much joy in it for me, 

other than the happiness I had for my nephew and his bride.

I didn't know 95% of the people there.  I am old enough

to be the mom to most of them.  Not much conversation

happens when you're "the mom" while the "kids" drink.

lol yes, I can laugh now but events like that are more of

an endurance for me, than a joy.   

And work issues continue.  Day 3 and Elvis decided to take

a stroll through my work area, and since I was out making

deliveries, I have no idea what he said, or did, to the gal

who works with me, but she was pulled in for two different

closed door meetings immediately after.  And was told

she couldn't discuss it with me.

With all that, and because I'm worn out from "vacation",

I decided not to go in to work today.  

Sometimes, you have to stay home and find your own joy!

24 October 2018

Stand Strong

"I am a strong woman.

Everything that's hit me in life

I've dealt with on my own.

I've cried myself to sleep.

Picked myself back up and

wiped my own tears. 

I have grown from things

meant to break me."

It was a rough day. 

Elvis has returned to duty.   In. My. Store.

It's awful to hear him tell the story as he

believes it to be:  that he was wrongfully

terminated; he's been reinstated with full back pay

and he is being compensated for retraining to be

a pharmacy tech.   Frankly, I just want to throw up

over that whole farce. 

At the same time, a snooty young manager told me

I could no longer step onto a pallet when I'm stacking

boxes.  I told her that I was doing so because I didn't

want to hurt my back by reaching and stretching with

a heavy box.  She told me to rearrange my pallet so

that I could reach all sides.  I smiled, and did just that.

Blocking the aisle so no one could get through.  *smirk*

Some days, I wish for a different job, a different store,

and even .... a different life. 

I think I need a good night's sleep.

23 October 2018

Feeling Blurry

Back from vacation, and

feeling quite blurry.

Family obligations were the point

of the whole trip, and yet

so unsatisfying in many ways.

A very long drive with Sadie in the car.

No chance for any real conversations. 

Happy for my nephew who was married.

But when ex's are involved - my brother's, not mine! -

it makes things that much more uncomfortable.

Now I feel ready to take

a vacation

from my vacation!!

Hello, my friend.  I'm home.

11 October 2018

Come Find Me

Just chillin'

in the yard

Three separate mornings over the past week,

I've heard the same song on the radio:

Alabama's "Come Find Me"

It keeps touching a nerve and

I haven't been able to put a finger on it.

Maybe it's the simplicity as he sings

"... come find me...."

in his sexy, breathy voice

03 October 2018

Hurricane Rain

Rain is grace;

Rain is the sky descending to the earth; 

without rain, there would be no life.

~John Updike

Thanks to Hurricane Rosa

plenty of rain pushed into

the Valley of the Sun.